What's In a Name?
by idlehandsdevilswork
Summary: Polly Kilgore just so happens to know what nearly every name means, and she understands the power that they hold. But what will she make of a boy who refuses his name and the power and pain it entails? M for future. Don't recognize mine Do J.K. Rowlings.
1. A Meeting Without a Name

I hate, never mind, I shouldn't say hate, I despise, loathe, dislike strongly, disparage, mourn the rain. It soaks my bones and seeps into every crevice my body has to offer. This time of year, early September to be precise, it was only too apparent that the rain would stop for nothing, save a sunny day. That's why I despise the rain, because it's something I can't control.

I was walking to platform 9 & ¾ like I always did this time of year, pulling my rolling suitcase behind me. My cat Nolan was tucked under my jacket beneath my breast, clawing lightly at my stomach whenever it felt the slightest dampness. I must have been quite a sight to all the muggles around me, looking like I did.

When I arrived, flushed and shivering from the cold, I was greeted by the last minute warning from the Hogwarts express telling everyone precisely how on-time it intended to be. Of course it was never late, leaving the platform at 11 o'clock without delay on September first.

"Gods Kilgore, can't even afford a cage for your cat. Or do you just enjoy having a body close to you?" cackled Lucius Malfoy from behind his group of pureblood cronies. They didn't like me from my first day in first year. It had only been a year since they laid eyes on me but they still continued to make low remarks about my fortune, or lack thereof, and blood status. Luckily it was his last year at Hogwarts and couldn't torture me afterwards.

I ignored them, stepping on to the train and finding a compartment that was nearly empty save a red-head girl that I recognized to be from my house and a greasy haired boy who I didn't think I had ever seen before.

"I'm sorry, but may I sit here?" I stuck my head in just enough so that if someone were to slam it I would hopefully escape unscathed.

"Of course!" cried the red-head, pushing her book closed for a moment to usher me in before opening it once again.

"I really do apologize." I muttered, pulling my suitcase in behind me. "I just didn't want to share a compartment with a Slytherin."

"You spoke to soon." snapped the black haired boy, finally looking up at me.

"I-I didn't know. You really aren't that bad it's just a few of you are… quite terrible." I stumbled for a moment before backing up slowly, heading for the door.

"And you call yourself a Gryffindor." The boy mumbled. "Stay, I wouldn't want the Slytherin's getting to you now would we." His tone was predatory now, but went unnoticed by the girl next to him.

I stood on the bench and hoisted my suitcase onto the overhead compartment, letting Nolan scramble down my side. I stepped off the bench on to the floor and turned myself around, straightening out my skirt and looking at them expectantly.

"I should have introduced myself, I'm Polly Kilgore." I smiled and sat down.

"Lily Evans, you have a very… interesting name Polly." said the girl, looking up from her book and smiling back with a curious tilt of the head.

"Severus Snape." The boy replied curtly.

"I know, but it has a lot of character don't you think." I told her enthusiastically. "My mother was quite adamant when it came to cheering up our dreary family name. My father wanted to name me something like Evangeline or Juniper but my mother insisted on naming me something that sounded happy like Polly! Of course afterwards she discovered that my name meant bitter in Latin. It also means wished-for child, which I was not, and rebellion which I have never experienced." I ranted on for a few moments more until I realized how completely uninterested both of them were.

Instead of continuing the one-sided conversation I sat back and cradled Nolan in my arms as he nibbled at my cardigans buttons. I wasn't inclined to read away my ride to school but rather to think about the morbid circumstances I'd have to overcome this year. The most prominent of which had to be Lucius Malfoy and his cronies.

Surely they'd become bored with me at some point? I wasn't as responsive as some of their other victims and I was a half-blood which made me seem like less of a threat to their perfect world than some. I wasn't very pretty, I had dull brown hair and my pre-pubescent body was all but seductive. Why was I the one to elicit his demons?

My train of thought was interrupted by the compartment door being opened by a pleasantly plump woman with a cart full of treats.

"Anything from the trolley dears?" She asked sweetly, but before we could reply she was nearly knocked over by a boy with shaggy brown hair and glasses.

"Evans! I've been looking for you everywhere. You look… excellent. Wow Evans you really do look fantastic!" He only rested for a moment before turning to Severus and muttering "Snivellus." And nodding his head.

"Go away Potter. Can't you see we're busy?" She looked up from her book distractedly before resting her hand on Severus's arm.

I sat there observing, wondering what relationship was between these classmates that I was not familiar with. After a few moments of hearing quips from both ends I let out a loud sigh and said "My name is Polly Kilgore, and yours is?" I directed it at the new boy with classes.

He looked at me perplexed for a moment before looking at Lily who was far to busy examining her book to think about him and looked back at me. "James Potter. Are you new this year? Are you a first year perhaps."

I let out a sharp laugh before saying "No, just quiet. If it makes you feel better I've never noticed you either." He looked disappointed for a moment before stepping into the compartment and sitting down next to me.

"Evans, do you want sit with Sirius and the gang?"I scoffed for a moment.

'Sirius,' I thought 'what an interesting name.' It means sparkling or scorching. A very passionate name for someone I didn't know. Its roots were Greek, like many names, and were weaved into the stars. I was jealous of that name and its deep meaning.

"James is quite a powerful name you know." I interrupted once again, aware of the tense atmosphere around me. "It means someone who takes power by force. Is that you James?" He looked at me, once again confused as to my intentions.

"Did I ask you?" He turned to face me fully, hands on his hips in a daring manner.

"I suppose you didn't, but it doesn't change the fact that your name is fascinating."

Severus was now looking at me in a strange admiration. I suppose it is admirable to be a walking dictionary for name meanings but it was rather odd.

"What exactly does Lily mean?" Severus asked, his gaze dully piercing mine.

"It means blossoming flower, innocence and purity, etc." I told him pointedly. "It's very romantic I think." I added.

"And Severus?" Lily inquired, looking pleased at her names meaning, ignoring James' fawning glance.

"Quite the contrary, Severus means severe." I laughed a little. "Doesn't it fit him so well." Severus said nothing. He just returned to his book.

"You never answered my question Evans." James persisted.

"I'm sorry but no." Lily quipped.

"Do you mind if we join you then?"

"The compartment is much too small!"

"I will sit on the floor for you." I let out a short bark before turning back to the window with a wide smile.

"Fine, do what you will James." Lily waved off the boy and he strode out of the compartment with his hands buried in his pockets looking rather pleased.

He came back a moment later with three others in tow. One was tall with dark eyes, he looked tired and begrudged. One was short and plumb with thin hair and beady eyes. The last one who stood beside James was middle height with short black hair and light eyes. He showed signs of becoming handsome in the future but was only just beginning his journey into adulthood.

"Hello Remus." Lily acknowledged the tired looking boy before once again burying her head in her book.

"Not even going to say hi to me?" Said the handsome boy, sitting next to me before leaning forward to speak to Lily.

I thought he had to be Sirius. He definitely had the spark and passion that name entailed not to mention the looks to go with it.

"Sirius." Lily nodded, not even looking up from the text.

"I'm Polly." I said turning to him with a smile, but he obviously wasn't interested in me.

"So Snivellus, I see you didn't wash your hair all summer." Sirius snapped.

"I wouldn't be surprised if it was infested with lice." Said the pudgy boy.

"Actually hair that is matted and greasy is less likely to get lice than thin clean hair." I motioned to his sad mop.

"Do you insist on interrupting." snapped Sirius, loosing his calm manner.

"Yes." I stated simply before turning back to the window.

"She's an odd one." muttered the tired boy.

"Can't you see she's just trying to stop you boys from fighting." I looked at Lily for a moment, shocked at her insight into my actions. She was only partially correct since I rather enjoyed interrupting. "Maybe you should just leave," she set her book beside her "it would make things so much easier."

"Fine, we'll leave." said an indignant James.

The group of boys left, leaving Severus Lily and I alone once again.

"What were those boys names?" I asked, picking up Nolan and setting him on the seat beside me since no one occupied it anymore.

"The tall boy's name is Remus, he's a decent fellow. The short boy was Peter, he always gives me the creeps a little, and then the black haired boy-" She was cut off.

"-Is Sirius." finished Severus. "Now pray tell, what do their name's mean?"

"Well Remus was the founder of Rome along with his brother Romulus. They were cared for by wolves if I remember correctly. The meaning itself is unknown. Peter means rock, isn't that funny since he is obviously just an insecure teenager." I laughed.

"And Sirius?" Severus asked, interested in my answer.

"It means scorching or sparkling, a very interesting name." I smiled down at my lap, enraptured in the memory of the handsome boys face.

"It doesn't suit him at all." Lily said, facing me with imminent disdain written on her face.

"I don't mean to barge in on your life, but what's your relationship with these boys?" I inquired.

"Relationship, ha!" Lily scoffed. "Those boys make more trouble than they're worth." I turned to Severus this time and looked at him expectantly.

"I have no opinions about them." He looked away from me.

"Surely you do, the way you looked at them told me so." I smiled sweetly.

"If you know so much why are you asking." He snapped.

I didn't know how to reply, I was taken aback by his sharp tongue and aggressive tone. "I should probably be quiet now."

"That would be preferable."

"Severus!" cried lily, taken aback by his aggressive rude manner. "No, Polly I find you quite interesting."

"Really, because most everyone finds me irritating. I know why, I talk too much but I don't mind." I was shocked by her nearly affectionate words.

"I find you really entertaining actually. Where did you learn all the name meanings?" she leaned forward in an interested pose.

"I'm not sure actually, my mother always liked name meanings and I guess I just got interested to. I used to ask people when I first met them what their names mean and now I just tell them." I laughed, bemused by my own odd intellect.

"Surely you're in Ravenclaw with a memory like that?" Lily inquired.

"No, I'm in Gryffindor, though the hat wanted me in Ravenclaw." I told her, also leaning forward.

"Why didn't you go, I assume you would do well."

"I'm not sure, I just said that I wanted to be amongst people who would understand me." The thought made me wild in delight. "So he put me in Gryffindor, funny how things turn out though. No friends in any house, let alone my own." I smiled sweetly at her.

She was confused by my cheerful tone and asked "Surely you have some friends?"

"They think I'm odd. I can't blame them, seeing as I tend to tell people their name meanings when I first meet them."

Lily let out a high pitched laugh and smiled at me.

"Well you have a friend now so don't complain to much ok?"

That statement shocked me. I had never had an official friend before. I had people I got on with reasonably well and people who thought I was funny but only listened and never spoke back.

"I honestly don't know what to say to that." I replied, cocking my head to the side and smiling.

"So eat dinner with me at Hogwarts, and I'll introduce you to the girls." I cringed at the thought.

I never liked the girls in our year, they were ditsy and rude and spoke of boys and hair and little else. Philosophy and human nature had never entered their pre-pubescent mind.

"They aren't too bad I assure you." Lily laughed at my disgusted expression. "Some of them even have half a brain!"

"I thought that was impossible." I laughed along with her.

"Just look at you and me then, we both are intelligent young women." Severus scoffed. "We have more intellect than a teacup." He scoffed again.

"Why Severus are you implying something?" I inquired, looking at him sardonically.

"Only that I don't understand why women must constantly praise their intellect then bash their own appearance." Severus muttered.

"It's true though, I'm not pretty at all." Lily looked down at her petite hands.

"Don't be silly you're gorgeous, I'm the ugly one." I looked at her passionately.

"That's not true at all, I'm so jealous of your beautiful blue eyes. Mine are just a drab green."

"Your hair is the most magnificent thing I've ever seen. It's such a pretty color!"

"You have the daintiest wrists, very ladylike unlike mine which are manly."

"At least you don't have a dreadful manly figure. A pole has more curves than me."

"This is ridiculous, you're both… attractive young woman and I swear whichever one of you says one meaner thing about yourself is going to get… something." Severus finally broke in.

"You have to realize we're women and therefore have little to no self esteem." I told him calmly.

"Yes, and also we seek compliments by insulting ourselves." Lily added.

"You two are ridiculous, that's what you are." Severus huffed before leaving us to our girlish conversation.


	2. Apple Crumble Dreams

My second year went on without a hitch. Those boys I met on the train, who will soon be known as the Marauders, weren't very prevalent. They simply entered my life to speak to Lily or torment Severus. I don't think they were very fond of me; I was rather indifferent to their charismatic ways. The only time I spoke to them was when I had small interruptions to add. They were annoyed by my little attempts at conversation at first but soon became used to them and they even laughed once in awhile.

Lily and I were very close, but I never bonded with her like I did with Severus. She seemed to me to be another insecure teenage girl, though she was intelligent and very down-to-earth. I could handle conversations with her about some topics but on others we starkly disagreed on, like the role of family and even sometimes politics.

Severus and I were a different story entirely.

"Paul," Severus often called me by that name "would you mind never attempting to clean my hair again?" he asked me pointedly.

"I'm sorry Severus, I really am." I put my wand at my side after attempting to make his greasy locks somewhat manageable.

"I honestly don't understand how you could be so idiotic as to mess up the simplest of charms" He huffed, pulling his now thin and slimy hair away from his eyes.

"I don't either, but I'm so terrible at charms!" I pulled my wand up to reverse the spell only to receive a sharp glare from Severus. With a flick of his own wand his hair was back to its normal, greasy self.

"You really should study charms more." He told me, his tone slightly softer, but still with a severe tone.

"I loathe that class." I cried. "No one takes it seriously anyways; James and his gang just play jokes on the professor all class."

"You could still do that assigned reading instead of copying my notes and begging me to do your essays." We started to walk out of the potions room, where Severus spent his free period before lunch. I often visited him to find entertainment.

I huffed in distress; I wasn't keen on the idea of reading my charms book. "I'd much rather study History of Magic." I sighed and started walking backwards while speaking to Severus. "Are you taking Ancient Runes next year?" I asked enthusiastically.

"Honestly I don't see the attraction of that class." He told me will much less passion.

"You are kidding aren't you? Do you have any idea how interesting it is?" I didn't really expect a reply so instead I kept on babbling on. "It's so… fascinating. I was so disappointed when I learned we would not be learning another language, but Runes is so much more than another language!"

I continued walking backwards down the hall, before walking into an unexpected visitor.

"Why if it isn't Snape and his Gryffindor pet." I looked at Lucius before turning and walking quickly to Severus' side.

"Hello Malfoy." I addressed him casually, grabbing onto Severus' arm and holding tight despite his obvious discomfort with being so close.

"Why don't you run along Snape, I must talk to Ms. Kilgore." Lucius smirked at him in delight.

I shook my head furiously before pulling Severus down the hall beside me. "Goodbye Malfoy." I called behind me.

"I've never heard you say so few words in anyone's company." Severus looked at me curiously.

"I don't like Malfoy." I muttered darkly before darting up the stairs onto the first floor.

"He's… civil with me, which is more than I can say for some people." He glared at the Marauders as the walked into the great hall.

"It's only because of James, that's all. He's practically in love with Lily." His eyes darkened and he put his hands together in a closed manner.

"Severus, don't be ridiculous, I know you are fond of her." I smiled at him and poked him lightly.

"Now what in Merlin's Beard does Lucius mean?" He asked, changing the subject excruciatingly well.

"That I don't know. Isn't that funny? Well Malfoy means unfaithful, but Lucius I never bothered to try to understand." I laughed a little at my ignorance towards my enemy's name. I put so much importance around name meanings and etymology yet I never bothered to learn his name.

"Will you learn?" Severus asked, always eager to take my knowledge. It wasn't greed, it was more like curiosity and I could never discourage that.

"I will, I promise." I smiled at him before heading to the Gryffindor table while he walked towards the Slytherin table.

I was greeted by an affectionate Lily who pulled me into the seat next to her. "Oh Polly, I heard the most interesting name today and I want to know what it means!" She often asked me questions like that, dipping her fingers into my encyclopedia-like mind.

"What was the name?" I inquired, pulling a bun and some spaghetti onto my plate.

"Andromeda, I believe, she's a seventh year if I am correct. She must be in Slytherin since she is a Black." Lily seemed to be quite interested in her.

"That's a very easy one. Andromeda is the name of a galaxy which, in myth, was created for a princess who was chained to a rock by her parents as a sacrifice. She was then saved by Perseus and married him, estranging herself from her family." I smiled a little, remembering the story my father used to tell me. He was always very fond of Greek myths.

"That's very interesting." Lily looked at me with a confused expression.

"It's Greek mythology, of course it's interesting. Anyways, because their love was eternal, they were put in the stars." I smiled.

"That's very romantic. Are most names Greek?"

"Mine is. Polydectes was a ruler of the island Sephiros who fell in love with Danae, a beautiful princess from a kingdom across the ocean. He knew the only way to win her over was to get rid of her son and trick her into marrying him. Naturally that didn't work and he ended up dying." I laughed a little at the end and Lily just looked at me and chuckled at my curious interest.

"How is Severus? I haven't spoken to him in forever." Lily inquired, sipping her pumpkin juice in a dainty manner.

"I tried to clean his hair today with magic. I'm really terrible at Charms Lily. Could you tutor me?" I was on the verge of begging.

"What exactly happened to his hair?" She leaned towards me, curious as to what occurred.

" I thinned it out substantially and this thick gooey residue was all over it." I chuckled at the memory. "It really was quite disgusting."

"Did I hear something about my dear friend Snivellus?" James inquired as he snuck behind us, placing an arm around our shoulders.

"Why yes I think you did mate." Replied an equally curious Sirius.

"We were just saying how perfectly wonderful he is." Lily stated, sticking her nose in the air in an apathetic manner.

"Before that we were discussing your cousin, Andromeda Black." I smiled at Sirius as he looked at me blankly.

"She's alright." He turned back to James who was, as usual, fussing over Lily.

I simply stared at Sirius. It was almost June and his hair had grown out, giving him a careless, messy look. He was beginning to grow into his name, receiving what had to be the most frivolous attention from girls his age and older. He looked sadder than he usually did, probably because of the impending summer. I knew he was ridiculed by his family, and he in turn ridiculed them very publicly. I sympathized with him but at the same time hoped that he wouldn't rip himself up so much about being apart of his family. You can't change what you were born into, albeit you can deny your family as much as you want to, but it will not change it.

"I think she has a lovely name." I smiled up at his demure expression.

"Well you would, wouldn't you." He grabbed James and pulled him away from Lily.

"I don't get why Evan's has such weird friends; first Snivelly and now this Kilgore girl." I heard Sirius mutter as he walked away from us.

Lily seemed somewhat flustered and a little sour faced, but still in a good mood.

"We have our scheduling tomorrow afternoon. I suppose you are excited." Lily nudged my arm slightly and took a bite out of her chicken.

"I just hope I get a spot in Ancient Runes, it sounds so interesting." I said pathetically, staring at the apple crumble that Marguerite, Lily's friend, was devouring with haste.

"You may not realize it but not all people find it so interesting. Like me for example, I'd much rather take Divinations." Marguerite told me. "Professor Callacerto is so fantastic." She swooned, finally devouring the sweet desert.

Lily smiled at Marguerite sweetly before turning back to me and saying "I'm taking Muggle Studies." She told me pointedly.

"Now that's just funny." I laughed. "That'll be an easy pass for you. What about Arithmacy or Care of Magical Creatures? You love animals, don't you Lily?" I suggested, but she looked at me strangely.

"No Slytherin's will take Muggle Studies. That's nearly guaranteed. Honestly Polly, don't you ever think things through?" She laughed and stood up. "I'm headed back up to the common room. Are you going to join me or keep eating?" She referred to my nearly full plate.

"I'll keep eating, no need to wait up for me." With that she left, her bag tucked over her shoulder casually.

I ate in silence for a few moments, my mind filled with thoughts of words. Lucius was a curious name. Obviously deriving from Lucifer but there was another root to it, I just couldn't quite remember. Lucifer meant something, I could remember that much, something very positive actually, not evil.

Before I could collect my thoughts I felt a hand on my shoulder and a turned around sharply to face James Potter and his gang of hormonal teenage boys.

"Yes?" I asked, expecting a prompt reply.

"Would you mind talking to Lily for me? Maybe see if she fancy's me." James asked, looking as smug as ever.

"She's passionately in love with you." I replied, equally smug.

"Really?" asked Peter.

"She doesn't James, I'm sorry." I smiled sweetly, trying to sound sympathetic.

"We won't make fun of you anymore if you ask." Sirius added idly.

I let out a burst of laughter and spluttered out a reply. "I don't mind you making fun of me. Have you figured that out yet?" I grinned at their blank faces.

"Oh, well you'd be right fantastic if you asked." Sirius continued.

"Being 'right fantastic' is just my life goal. You've convinced me." I said sarcastically.

"Really?" Peter asked.

"No I was joking. You really couldn't tell?" I laughed again.

"You sound right insane when you joke and when you talk so no, we couldn't." Snapped Sirius.

"Well that's just your problem then." I stood up, grabbing my book bag. "Now I suggest you ask her yourself, you'll get the same reply."

I walked slowly back to the common room, letting the boys get far in front of me so I could have some peace. There were still a few students in the hall, trading tonsils and holding hands and the like. Each were perfectly happy in their world of speechless animosity.

I would love to say that I wasn't interested in these juvenile relationships, because I was. I was only thirteen but I knew that I wanted that kind of connection with someone. Judging by the twits I met at Hogwarts though, it looked like that could take awhile.

As I arrived at the Gryffindor tower, I was bombarded with questions from Lily about my conversation with James.

"You told him I was in love with him!" Lily practically screamed.

"Sarcastically, it's not my fault they're complete dolts." I replied calmly.

"don't call me a dolt." James yelled from across the common room.

"I can call you whatever I please since you make fun of me." I yelled.

"You're just a slimy toe rag and I could never love you." Lily joined in overdramatically before running up to her room and slamming the door.

I winced a little and sent an ashamed smile towards James, somewhat ashamed of myself for causing the conflict in the first place.

"I'm sorry." I muttered softly, it was a miracle he heard me.

"I don't understand you." James told me blatantly.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment if you don't mind." I smiled a little stronger.

"No, not at all." James smiled back, beckoning me over to his group.

"Hello, sorry for ever being strange or rude." I waved at the four boys as I walked over.

"Hey no problem, it's always good to be a little strange. Right Remus?" added Sirius.

"You don't feel that way about Severus do you?" I asked, tilting my head with glazed, unemotional eyes.

"Snape is a different matter entirely." James muttered.

"I'm sorry?" I asked.

"He's a pariah. I don't like him being close to Lily." He elaborated.

"Is that any of your business?" I asked. "I think Lily can care for herself, she is, after all, a strong person."

"I know but-" James was cut off.

"I hear you say that she's an exceptional witch all the time." I mentioned.

"But he isn't-"

"And I'm sorry, but is it really your concern anyway?" I asked him softly.

"Yes it is. I can honestly say it's more of a concern for me than it is for you." James sputtered out.

"I think I will go to bed, I have a History of Magic test tomorrow and I intend to ace it. I bid you goodnight gentleman." I bowed slightly and they looked at me strangely.

I scampered up the stairs, opening up my dormitory door to be greeted with snores from my roommates, Genevieve Sometimes, Cleo June and Hester Kitsle. My pajamas were laid out on my bed, as always. I quickly stripped myself of my uniform and pulled on the slip. That night I dreamed of History of Magic, apple crumbles, Lucius Malfoy and oddly enough the mysterious Sirius black.

It was probably the least restful night I had had in years and when I went to take my test the next day I nearly got less than an O. I was only to eager to make my apologies to Binns and offer to retake it only to receive an odd look and a speech on his policy.

"I don't let students retake tests Ms. Kilgore and I certainly don't think you need to.

I left the classroom, quite at a loss. My eyes were downcast in shame as I walked across the school to enter my Potions class. But as I approached the dungeons I caught sight of Lucius Malfoy lurking around the classroom. Instead of entering I waited for him to go away. This took nearly twenty minutes and by the time I entered the classroom I was extremely late.

"Detention Kilgore, tonight after dinner." Slughorn told me.

I couldn't concentrate at all for the rest of the period. Thankfully I hadn't caused an explosion thanks to my partner, Severus.

"Bad day?" Severus asked, after my fourth mistake.

"Nearly the worst." I replied, wincing.


End file.
